


Hooked Remixed

by Taste_of_Suburbia



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Angst Dean Winchester, Annoying Gabriel, Breaking Benjamin, Candy, Carrying, Crack, Dreams, Exhaustion, Fainting, Fluff, Friendship, Girl Gabriel, Guilty Gabriel, Hallucinations, Humor, Hunting, Hurt Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Leg Injury, M/M, Malnourishment, Multiple Vessels, Picture, Possessive Gabriel, Protective Gabriel, Rihanna - Freeform, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-30
Updated: 2012-09-30
Packaged: 2017-11-15 09:20:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/525721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean's been strung out on a batch of challenging hunts lately and with a still candy lovin' but also evolving alcoholic Gabriel added to the mix, he's only digging himself a bigger hole. But when it seems there's nothing he can fall back on, he gets a huge surprise that causes him to look twice at his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Sanctuary

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hooked](https://archiveofourown.org/works/525629) by [Taste_of_Suburbia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Taste_of_Suburbia/pseuds/Taste_of_Suburbia). 



> Completely AU, though with brief spoilers of some moments in S7.  
> This is an expanded version of EO Drabble Challenge: Pour, which featured either Dabriel or Dean & Gabriel friendship, I left it up to what the reader preferred. I've been wanting to add onto the 100 words for a while and I also decided to make it romance this time. Hence the 'remixed' version.  
> This is a birthday present to myself, and because it is that means it is very close to my heart and something I have spent a great deal of time on. I still continue to hate the fact that my bday is April Fools but I keep on learning to live with it. Oh, and I would absolutely love a review… it would so make my day, not to mention year :D  
> Rated M just cause I was a little paranoid when writing this.

_~There’s a place I see you follow me_  
 _Just a taste of all that might come to be_  
 _I’m alone but holding breath you can breathe_  
 _To question every answer counted~_

His eyes take no longer than a minute to adjust to the light. Dean’s hands are shaking, an unwelcome reminder that he hasn’t eaten well in days, deprived himself of everything but the sickeningly bitter taste of scotch and sweet, sticky candy. The person who only has this to offer, other than his distracting and annoying presence, doesn’t seem to realize that humans can’t live this way.

Or just doesn’t seem to care. 

Gabriel’s only been here for a week now, yet it seems like a great deal longer. Long enough to justify Dean’s ever lingering thoughts on him, on what he’s doing at the moment that should be so much more worthwhile than the hunt he’s currently on. 

Yeah right, probably sitting on the couch watching reruns of Dr. Sexy and becoming more addicted by the second. 

_I’m such an idiot._

Sam and him have been doing separate hunts for weeks, and that’s one thing he still can’t get used to, will never be able to get used to because Sam is a part of him and when that’s taken away, well…

It’s an understatement to say that the archangel’s been keeping him company. In fact, he certainly keeps Dean with his hands full at every available and unavailable moment, forces him to run out and buy more candy and alcohol when he could conjure it up himself. Still, sometimes he doesn’t mind, going out because the fresh air does him good and sweet silence surrounds him instead of Gabriel’s nonstop yapping about things that don’t even matter. 

Dean sighs, wipes a bead of sweat off his forehead. His head is throbbing harshly, suffering against the dim yet hard, penetrating light that the light bulbs strung high above him shed. He wishes he had taken someone on this hunt with him, even if it was Gabriel. He actually offers sometimes, not that he enjoys him tagging along or anything, just that sometimes his overly confident personality helps to calm him down and keep his head straight. 

Hunting alone, like this, only causes his thoughts to drift onto the topic of Sam. 

And he really doesn’t want to think about him in a moment like this. 

The walls around him are sticky and wet, glistening with something that the hunter doesn’t want to think about yet knows he must. It means the thing is dangerously close, that this is its lair like he assumed it was after all. Means his gun will be shooting out silver bullets in the next few minutes if he’s lucky. 

This place is starting to creep him out a little, giving him a hard time because he really doesn’t want to walk any further, go in any deeper. Just wants to get this thing over and done with. 

Who cares though? There’s nothing waiting for him but an almost empty room plus a talkative archangel that doesn’t do anything but lie around all day and claim that Dean would be lost without him. Lost in what way?

His hand brushes the wall to his right and he shivers, the scent of raw meat wafting towards him, telling him he’s getting closer to where the thing takes its prey, devours them piece by piece after it rips them apart limb from limb. He remembers when Sam got caught by one of these things a few years back, and even though he survived it certainly wasn’t pretty when he managed to find him.

This isn’t a good hunt to go on alone and he knows it, tries to convince himself otherwise but who is he kidding? He should have gotten help, if not Gabriel than another hunter would have done. 

Then again, he’s Dean Winchester and he can handle anything. 

Until his hand leaves the wall and he focuses in front of him for only a brief moment before he’s slammed against that very same wall, gasping for breath, trying to focus because at this point he can see nothing but darkness and these huge, piercing teeth that come closer and…

Dean gulps and fumbles for the gun that’s been knocked out of his hand, “Shit.”

And then he falls. 

 

A deep, bone rattling cough climbs its way out of his throat and brings him to full wakefulness. His hands are shaking harder now, freezing cold and he reaches on instinct for his gun because he can’t remember what happened. 

He must have blacked out, must’ve…

“Damn, Dean. Don’t wake up when I call your name. It’s not like I’ve been wasting ten minutes of my life or anything like that.”

His head shoots up and immediately an agonizing pain explodes like fireworks within it, causing huge white stars to dance in front of him, obscuring the person who spoke from his view momentarily but he doesn’t need to see him. Still knows who it is and still wonders what the hell he’s doing here. 

“Gabriel, what…?”

His vision clears but his head is still throbbing and come to mention it, his leg is too, in a way that he doesn’t quite like. 

The archangel lifts up a small vial filled with an iridescent liquid that Dean recognizes as unicorn blood. Extremely hard to find yet he supposes it wouldn’t be for someone like Gabriel. The bullets should’ve been dipped in that, he assumes as he focuses back down on his leg, the pain starting to rise. 

“Figured you would overlook that small detail. You should be happy I caught it, Deano, otherwise you’d be lying in a puddle of your own blood right now.”

“Yeah well," Dean pushes himself up on his bruised and heavily exerted, shaking elbows, wincing with every pained movement, “if you had shut up for a second maybe I could’ve caught that stupid detail.”

“Whatever gets you through this, big boy.”

Gabriel’s grin, while annoying, actually strangely makes the current situation a little less awkward and a little less hard to deal with. Until his arms start to snake along to his back and legs that is. 

“Whoa," Dean pushes away but there’s nowhere to go but the cold wall that doesn’t want him anywhere near, “hands off.”

The archangel scoffs and with a sinking feeling Dean suddenly starts to realize that he isn’t getting out of here on his own. Damn archangel finally gets what he’s probably always wanted, Dean’s embarrassment at having to get carried out of this damn tunnel. It still doesn’t stop him from swallowing and getting really pissed off though. 

“Fine, Dean.” Gabriel sits back and crosses his arms, “I’ll just sit over here and watch you make a damn fool of yourself. It’s your choice, I’ll wait till you beg me to help but I’d rather not.”

Dean shifts his leg experimentally and shivers as the pain sifts throughout his entire form, knows it must be broken or crushed or something that’s just so fucking great that he doesn’t know because he can’t think straight at this point at all. 

He looks up at Gabriel and glares at him but there’s also no denying the uncertainty in his own eyes. Dean desperately doesn’t want Gabriel’s help but what choice does he have? He can’t exactly make it out of here on will alone. 

Besides, it doesn’t look like the archangel’s gonna do anything stupid anyways. 

_Unless he gets the bright idea to drop me or something._

He looks away from him, wanting to pretend that this situation doesn’t exist and he’s back in that damn hotel, listening to the archangel munch on piece of candy after piece of candy and swallow glass after glass of his precious scotch. 

“Fine," he gives in, promising himself that he won’t glance up again. Not till he’s back and maybe not even then. Possibly never again. 

Gabriel waits another moment before his arms are back with a surprising gentleness and slowness that doesn’t set Dean on edge like he thought he would.

“Just hurry up," he growls. 

Gabriel winks, “You got it, Deano.”

 

He wonders how the hell Gabriel figured out how to drive his baby and if he should even be letting him drive her at all, since there’s probably a huge risk of crashing and neither him nor her making it out of this alive. He wonders if Gabriel would do something like that, then figures that if he wanted him dead he wouldn’t in a million years go to all this trouble. 

Or maybe he would because the archangel is known for taking his sweet ass time on everything that crosses his path. 

“Just stop worrying and let me drive.”

Dean turns to him, wincing as he accidentally moves his leg, “You’re not in my head or anything like that, are you?”

Gabriel shrugs, “Would it make you feel better?”

He decides to just look back outside the window cause with Gabriel no word or time is ever right. Most of the time words don’t even need to be said because they don’t change anything. Gabriel will always be that same mysterious archangel that at the same time pisses him off and relaxes him as much as he does want to deny it. 

He’ll always be that presence that is there when he expects him the least, yet mainly shows him with his poker face how much he doesn’t care and how Dean is only a waste of time. Someone to stay with until he gets the motivation to leave. 

Still, sometimes he wants to know what runs through his head. 

And yet he may never get that chance.

“Stop thinking about dying, it’s not doing anyone any good and you’re only making my head hurt like that damn thing back there stepped on it.”

Dean lets his head sink against the window, closes his eyes. 

_Maybe he just knows me a little too well is all._

He can almost picture Gabriel’s sweet and easygoing smile. 

_Almost._

 

_About two weeks earlier…_

“You oughta take it a little slower. That stuff can really hit you.”

As proof, Gabriel’s eyes bulge out of his face and it causes Dean to laugh and shake his head at the same time. The bottle of scotch he placed on the table not even five minutes ago is empty now, a mournful little object that Gabriel stares at pleadingly. No more liquid appears like Dean thought it would, maybe he really has lost some of his mojo after all. 

“You’re an idiot, you know that?”

“Doesn’t matter, I still want more.”

“Sure you do," Dean rubs a tired hand over his face. “And I’d like a hot redhead right about now with a slice of blueberry pie on the side. Unfortunately, neither of those things are coming to me anytime soon.”

Gabriel scowls at him and only looks further at the bottle like it’s the most important thing in his world. 

Dean stares down at his diner made hamburger, pushes it away because he doesn’t think his stomach can handle it right now. Settles for a sip of his ice cold water to clear his parched throat and loves how it doesn’t taste like the whiskey he’s been drinking constantly lately. 

The archangel sets his empty glass down, eyes Dean with wide and curious eyes. Probably still an effect of the scotch though. 

“You should get some more sleep. You look like death warmed over, Dean.” 

He glances back at him, “So you can go out and raid the liquor store? Yeah, I don’t think so.”

Gabriel merely shrugs and starts digging through his fifth bag of peppermints, the loud crackling noise of the bag causing several other customers to look in their direction. Dean pretends that he’s not here right now, ordering food that he normally loves but doesn’t even want, sharing a table with a candy lovin’ and becoming alcoholic archangel as if this was all normal or something. 

No wonder why Sam ditched him and Gabriel decided to move right in to attempt to keep him company. 

_Keep me company my ass. All he wants is a place to stay where he doesn’t have to be alone and have someone to go out and buy him whatever he needs. And I’m falling for it more and more everyday too. What a sucker I am._

“Hey, Dean.”

A headache starts to form, no surprise there. 

“Gabriel, just don’t. I’ve had enough of your bullshit for one day. Go bug the waitress if you want something else.”

“Fine, just thought you might want to know that someone’s breaking into your car.”

_Damn good for nothing archangel._

 

By the time he manages to get outside he’s chasing after his baby and only praying that his legs can keep up with his frantic mind as his car starts to speed away from him. He doesn’t stop running though, even when his baby goes out of sight and his body is far past the point of breathing properly.

It isn’t until his body collapses on the sidewalk that he realizes it’s hopeless. His baby isn’t coming back to him and it’s his own fault for looking out the window the entire time but being too distant to notice that his most prized possession was being taken away from him under his very nose. 

He’s really pissed at Gabriel but somehow can’t manage to direct that rage at him for very long, instead drops his head in his hands and lets his furiously thumping heartbeat slow down before he starts the long walk back to the diner. 

It’s closed by the time he gets there, parking lot empty save for a beat up truck that has no keys and he’s not even sure if it could run anyway. He tries to hotwire it but his hands are shaking so badly that he just says to hell with it and starts walking the even longer walk back to the motel room, wondering where Gabriel went and why he’s even caring because he’s the one who just ran who knows how many miles and he was probably just watching him from the diner window and laughing his ass off. 

Dean settles on the small couch after looking throughout their entire room; bedroom, bathroom, kitchen, living room and all for any sign of the archangel to prove that he was here at all while Dean wasn’t. 

No trace, no sign, nothing. And certainly not something he should be concerned over at the moment.

He tries to flip through a few channels but he’s just not into watching TV and he shuts it off and worries about where his car is now, how far away she is and if he’ll ever even see her again. 

Gabriel comes back to his motel room later that night. 

“And where the hell have you…” He’s cut off as some very familiar keys are dropped suddenly into his lap. Dean fingers them slowly, carefully, recognizing them as his baby’s and no other’s. 

True enough, when he gets off the couch and hurries over to the large window… there she is. Shining proudly and in all her glory, no scratch in sight on her and leaving no trace that she was even stolen. It’s almost like a dream. 

His eyebrows rise at her shimmering beauty that far surpasses how Dean remembers her from earlier that night. 

_Did he take her to a car wash?_

“You can thank me later, Deano.”

Dean can only smile and love him unconditionally for that one brief moment as he watches his beloved Impala, back safe and sound and it’s all due to the sympathy of one archangel who actually did care about something after all. 

 

Gabriel’s peck on his check sends him back to a reality that he hates to be in almost as much as he loves to be in because otherwise it’s thinking of Sam and everyone else he’s ever lost. 

“Thanks, Dean.”

He looks at Gabriel closely as he slinks away, tries to remember if he’s ever thanked him for anything before. Dean clears his throat and looks away, further unpacking the grocery bag on the counter of the small kitchenette in the motel room. 

“No problem. There was a sale on M&M’s this week, buy two get the third three, so I got us some.”

Gabriel settles on the couch and breaks open his favorite candy of all: lollipops. “Awesome.” 

His eyes stare at the bag before him, thinking, wondering if he should ask. Would it ever matter anyway?

“Gabriel?”

“Yeah?”

Nah, it isn’t really worth it after all. 

“Nothing.”

_Nothing at all._

 

“You okay?”

“Yeah," Dean rubs a hand over his tired, sunken in face. He must have fallen asleep when Gabriel left the couch, since he’s stretched out across it and there would have been no room for him. “I’m just peachy.”

“You shouldn’t drink anymore of this," Gabriel holds up the half empty bottle of whiskey dangling from Dean’s outstretched and going numb quickly hand. “It certainly isn’t helping you sleep.”

He looks over at the clock, his eyes squinting to read the red numbers: 12:30 p.m. “Easy for you to say when that’s all we have around this place.”

“Well then," he pushes Dean’s legs over a little so he can sit on the end of the couch, “guess you should actually buy something besides two items when you go to the grocery store next time.”

Dean really doesn’t want to think about this, let alone talk about it right now. 

“I would, only that the last money I had just ran out. Alcohol is pretty expensive, Gabriel, in case you haven’t realized. Especially the stuff you’ve been drinking. Not to mention, when I’m done buying that for you there really isn’t much money left. So why don’t you just lay off me a little and go eat some candy or something?”

He flips over on his side, expecting Gabriel to take that as a sign to leave him alone. Unfortunately, that isn’t quite how things work out. Instead, the archangel pushes his legs further to the back of the couch and scoots closer to him. Dean can’t even escape Gabriel’s penetrating stare when he closes his eyes, it burns into the current stark white hue of his face and the exhaustion written there. 

“You should take the bed tonight.”

Dean cracks open one of his eyes in utter amazement, almost thinks of accepting before deciding against it. “No thanks, it’s probably just better if you have it.”

_So I don’t pay for it later._

He really doesn’t care all too much about the bed, it’s the fact that Gabriel offered it to him for the night that truly puzzles him. He hasn’t gotten the one lousy bed that the motel offered to give them, despite their sort of suite-like room, much at all since Gabriel decided to show up unannounced and cocky as ever. Now he gets it because he claims that the human looks tired? Since when did he start caring about that and how the hell hadn’t he noticed it sooner? 

Is the archangel actually going soft on him?

There is complete silence for the next few minutes. Dean doesn’t open his eyes again, Gabriel doesn’t move from his position, and the former still knows the latter’s eyes are on him, digging a hole into him in order to find a way to his soul. It’s uncomfortable but Dean’s too tired to feel anything but the safety that an archangel like Gabriel always seems to provide so effortlessly. 

“Take a picture," Dean finally mumbles. “It’ll last longer.”

When he wakes up at dawn the next morning the bed is completely empty and has been made for the first time in what must be a week. Gabriel’s sleeping on the floor and… wait a minute. Since when do archangels sleep? Gabriel only ever took the bed all this time because he liked how soft it was, he never actually slept in it, which kinda pissed Dean off until it became so normal that he just stopped being pissed. 

Anyway, his form is close enough to the couch which makes him close enough to Dean. He wonders how long he stayed there, not to mention why he didn’t just take the bed like he knows he wanted to.

Dean gets up slowly, sighs softly as he realizes still how tired he is. He very carefully steps around Gabriel’s form and makes it to the nice, plush bed, complete with pillows made to sink your head into and sheets that are the most heavenly he’s ever had on his body. Usually, he’s one for sleeping without the covers, but this morning he decides to go for a change, pulling the sheets up over him until they reach his neck and then snuggling into their warmth. 

He falls asleep wondering if Gabriel will make fun of him for this. 

Then again, being Gabriel he probably saw it all along. 

 

_Back in the present time_

Gabriel must have mojoed him out so he wouldn’t complain about getting taken out of his baby and carried, yet again, to the motel room, because the next time he opens his eyes his back is stiff from lying on a couch for what must have been at least six hours.

Not to mention, he’s got the worst headache he’s had since forever. 

At least his leg doesn’t hurt anymore though, Gabriel probably did something about that too cause he was bored or managed to feel sorry for him for one little thing. He’s just happy he can put weight on it. 

“You know," he says when he catches sight of Gabriel sitting on the floor, flipping through TV channels while munching on a Babe Ruth, “you’re supposed to wake a person up every hour or so when they have a concussion. Not dump them on a couch and pray that they survive the night.” 

“Didn’t get the memo.” Another bite out of the already half-eaten candy bar and munching followed soon after. Munching that annoys the hell out of him. 

Well, at least he didn’t undress him. 

“I’m taking a three hour long shower. Don’t bug me for more of your shit, it’s either in the cabinets or the fridge.”

Gabriel doesn’t even nod, just presses what looks to be the next channel button before taking a swig out of the nearest of the three bottles of scotch adorning the floor. Every time he sees it with his own eyes, which is basically every second, he knows it’s his fault, his carelessness, his stupidity that led them both into the situation they’ve fallen into. Dean fingers the last twenty dollar bill in his back pocket before heading to the bathroom and stripping. 

Dean lets the scalding water run down his back, peeling off old skin and allowing new to form, cleansing him of the dirt from last night’s hunt and giving him another day, another chance, another try at his pathetically depressing life. 

And what does he do with it? Nothing. 

Nothing much at all really. 

Except grab a bag of M&M’s and start chowing down.

**To be continued…**


	2. Human Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just decided spur of the moment to split this up into two chapters. Hope you're still enjoying it.  
> Song Featured: Rihanna's 'We Found Love'

Sam calls him on the phone around two in the morning. He’s glad he wasn’t sleeping, because he wouldn’t have wanted to miss it for anything, then again he’s getting to be so tired that he can barely keep his head upright anymore. 

The conversation goes somewhat like this.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dean. It’s Sam.”

“What’s wrong, you got hurt or stranded while you were hunting or something?”

“What makes you think anything has to be wrong for me to call you?”

“Sam, you haven’t called me in weeks. So please, spare the niceties and tell me what you want.”

“I’m staying with Bobby.”

“Yeah, I called him to make sure of that.”

“Listen, we got a hunt going on…”

“See, that’s what I mean by there must be some sort of reason.”

“Dean…”

“Just come by tomorrow.”

And then he hangs up the phone before Gabriel walks in and demands to know what that was all about. He should feel guilty, maybe, for hanging up on his own brother but that doesn’t mean he actually does. 

He drifts off for what must be the eighth time for a few minutes before the blare of the TV startles him awake. The pillow he grabs and throws over his head in a failed attempt to block out the noise is instinct only. If he was thinking clearer he would have thrown it at the person who clicked the on button on the remote. Even if the distance is pretty far. 

Dean groans, headache coming back from earlier that afternoon with a vengeance, leg starting to throb again even though it’s _supposed_ to be healed. 

This is one night he just can’t take it, one night where he just needs silence and to be alone. 

No one is good enough when Sam isn’t here. 

Dean throws himself out of bed, ignoring the sudden pain as he storms into the living room, barely catching sight of Gabriel before grabbing the remote out of his sticky fingers and slamming it against the wall. The racket goes away quickly and soon there is silence other than Dean breathing fiercely, angrily and trying so _so_ hard not to explode because with someone like Gabriel it won’t do any good. 

_He never learns._

All Gabriel does is look up at him so innocently, like nothing he ever does is wrong or is meant to bother Dean in any way, shape or form. This must go on for millennia, at least, that’s what it feels like to him. 

Then his eyes fly further down, “Leg hurting again?”

He reaches out without waiting for an answer, fingers close to brushing his aching leg before Dean jumps back faster than intended, his back slamming against the same wall he destroyed the remote with. Gabriel shrinks back a little, an incredibly foreign gesture. 

“Don’t touch me," he spits out. “I don’t want you to touch me or heal me or do anything else to try to help me. I just want you to go away and stay out of my life. I’m sick of this, Gabriel. I want some peace and quiet and for you to stop giving me all this goddamn pressure.”

He walks away, hoping Gabriel will just do what he says and leave for the night or something like that. He keeps thinking that he came on too strong, that the archangel will take his words more literally than he intended. He was just pissed is all, Gabriel has to understand that, right? He won’t leave, he can’t, that isn’t Gabriel in the slightest and that will never be him.

Dean crawls back into bed, knows he’s facing another sleepless night when the depression hits. Visions of Cas walking into the water to drown himself, and Sam shoving his thumb into his hand every time Dean suspects, _knows_ that Lucifer is there, tormenting him and it kills Dean to know that he cannot see him, cannot comfort because he has no idea how the hell to comfort.

He’s depressed because this isn’t what he wants at all. 

The sound of Gabriel stepping out into the night and shutting the door behind him, separating him from the human. The notion that if he never comes back again that it will be his fault. No denying. No regretting. 

Because it will be the last slice of reality Dean remembers before everything comes crashing down around his helpless form. 

 

“Rise and shine, Deano!” 

He’s been awake for the last half hour or so anyway, just staring at the wall or the ceiling, whatever position he happens to be in. He actually didn’t expect Gabriel to come back, and the fact that he did, the fact that he’s talking to the human right now must be meant as some form of a good sign. 

Hell, did last night even happen at all?

The blinds are thrown back from the windows, allowing bright sunlight to pour into the room and soon Gabriel starts reaching for something behind him. 

“Got you something.”

Gabriel hands him a bottle of red cream soda and a hamburger, slides the lone Twinkie into the brown paper bag when he thinks Dean’s not looking.

He stares in silence at the items for a moment, “This a peace offering?”

“Think of it as whatever you like, Dean.”

Gabriel settles in the chair beside the bed, takes out a magazine Dean can’t quite make out and starts flipping through the pages, pretending like he isn’t watching the human at every moment out of the corner of his eye even though Dean knows he is. 

Dean smiles as he slides the hamburger out of the bag and starts chowing down. Even though he isn’t hungry, even though he thinks he really can’t handle it right now he does it for Gabriel. Because it may be the only present that he’ll get from him and it’s better than nothing. 

“Thanks, Gabe.”

Gabriel pretends like he doesn’t hear him but when Dean looks closer he can see the faintest trace of a smile. 

 

It’s more than just a little awkward when Sam and Bobby come by, barely saying hi before they’re settled at the kitchen table and talking nonstop about this huge hunt that Sam thinks Dean needs to get in on. 

All Dean feels like doing is reaching across the table and shaking some sense into him. 

_Yeah sure, don’t tell me how you’re doing or ask me how I’m doing or anything else like that Sam. It’s not like we’re brothers or anything._

Bobby acts pretty much the same way, as if Dean is just another hunter and the hunt is the biggest thing in a century, something Dean can barely focus on because he’s so worried about Sam. Sam who’s still dealing with Lucy and holding everything inside and pretending that Dean doesn’t know about any of it. 

And Gabriel sits in the corner of the kitchen sucking on a lollipop loudly, utterly no help at all. Though when his eyes flicker to Dean just once near the middle of the conversation, the hunter can see the uneasiness in them, the mistrust that makes Dean want to shake him too because Sam is his brother even if he isn’t acting like it. 

Sam’s opinion of Gabriel is hostile enough, kinda like it’s always been but you think after he died for the both of them he would get over that, so the archangel gets the bright idea without Dean having to say a word to leave the room and go out for the remainder of the day. 

Dean’s kinda sad to see him go. He feels outnumbered here with Sam and Bobby, the two that he should never feel outnumbered by. 

He’s so used to having Gabriel around, so used to assuming he has his back. 

Dean knows he can’t get into the hunt right now. He’s not stable enough and clearly hasn’t had his head in the game for weeks. The proof can be found based on that last hunt alone when Gabriel had to save his pathetic ass. 

And if Gabriel told him with that one little look, well, things are even worse than he had thought. 

He does accept it though. Why? Because he’s a hunter. Because he’s always fine. Because he has nothing else better to do and letting Sammy down is never an option. 

So yes, he’s in. 

Gabriel comes back around six, when Sam and Bobby are camped out in the room next to theirs, shutting the door hard enough so that Dean notices. His fingers excessively spin the Impala’s keys that he holds possessively in his hand. Too bad the human has other things on his mind, too many other things to care that Gabriel stole his car to go on a joy ride or whatever else he does that’s apparently none of his business. 

“You took the hunt?”

Dean nods, eyes wandering away from the TV, scooting over to let the archangel collapse beside him, who only pries the remote from his fingers and changes the channel to something more suited to his own tastes. 

“I shouldn’t do it," Dean admits, afraid to look over at Gabriel for what he may find there. 

“Ya think?” His voice sounds pretty uncaring but Dean just can’t believe it, knows he has to be faking it. 

“I just…”

Gabriel sighs softly, “You don’t have to say anything, Dean. I know that you have to do it.”

The human looks down at his hands, wants Gabriel to beg him not to do it. Promises himself that if he does, if he even says one word not to then he’ll listen. He’ll listen because he wants him to care about this, needs him to realize that this is a very bad idea and he must crush Dean’s obligation. Just one little word. 

“I get it.”

_I wish you wouldn’t, Gabriel. Just tell me you don’t get it and I won’t do it. Just tell me to stay here, where I really want to be. Please, just tell me and I’ll stay._

Gabriel holds a bag out to him but Dean can’t even look at it. “Want a lollipop?”

He just holds it all inside behind the levees. 

 

At one second he’s hitting the wood flooring hard and the next he’s letting out a low moan as Gabriel touches his forehead uncertainly, an arm wrapped around his back with such familiarity that Dean can hardly feel it, let alone attempt to push it away. 

“What? You trying to feel me up too?” His eyes flicker open and land on Gabriel’s, not bothering to glance around because he already knows that Sam and Bobby stand nearby, hovering over him, worry lining their features but it seems like showing the slightest ounce would kill Gabriel. 

That’s fine though, he doesn’t need him anyway. Wouldn’t care about him either.

He sits up slowly, fearing to push his body too much but still wanting to get away from the archangel as Gabriel responds, “Don’t flatter yourself, Deano. Sammy here actually likes you, whereas I have far better things to do.”

Gabriel slinks away, heading towards the kitchen to no doubt pour himself another damn glass of scotch. Dean really hates himself, not for the first time either, for giving in and letting the archangel get hooked on that stuff in the first place. Now it’s all he thinks about, all he cares about. 

Sam stands nearby as he gets up on his feet, stepping closer when he sways a little but luckily he manages to get himself under control in time before his brother starts mother-henning him into his grave. He can’t help but look towards the direction of the kitchen no matter how much he told himself not to, can’t help but wish that maybe Gabriel cared a little more, if not about him then about something anyway. 

He sighs loudly, “M’ gonna go to bed. See you guys in the morning and hopefully by then," he jabs his thumb in the direction of his unwanted guest, “he’ll be out of my life and not draining me of my resources.”

Sam still looks like he wants to examine him further, wanting a decent explanation as to why he just fainted for no apparent reason, but he decides to leave it alone as Dean starts to walk away, rubbing a tired hand over his face and through his hair. Feeling Sam’s eyes on his back is comforting even in this situation, and it allows his thoughts to wander away from the alcoholic archangel and onto the topic of much needed sleep. 

 

The next time he wakes up, in the middle of night, he knows something is wrong in the instant that he gains even a portion of consciousness. And it does take him a while to slide up to full wakefulness, partly because he’s battling this odd and foreign sensation. 

By the time his eyes latch onto Gabriel’s he knows it’s too late for anything he’s ever wanted to do or say. 

“You didn’t tell me the thing scratched you, Dean.” His voice isn’t playful or accusing in any manner. In fact, it’s pretty fucking sad to listen to. 

He wasn’t talking about the last monster they just got rid of, or rather Gabriel just got rid of. No, the archangel is talking about the one before that, the one that came up just three days after he showed up out of the blue, lounging on the bed and cracking open a bottle of scotch and a bag of chocolates. 

One little scratch= insomnia, lack of appetite, exhaustion, dehydration, etc. 

Dean crosses off all the symptoms that he remembers from the computer. He can’t remember them all though, the list was too long and most of it was too vague to figure out. What he does remember is: hallucinations, paralysis, coma, eventual death. 

And all three of those things in about twenty-four hours. 

Just because he doesn’t exactly feel pain right now doesn’t mean that he has any time left. In fact, this is very _very_ bad. 

Honestly? Dean forgot about the whole thing. There was so much going on then, still coping with Sam deciding to leave and staying at Bobby’s, plus Gabriel’s arrival and what that inevitably meant. And he was still struggling to hold himself together at the seams when everything was falling apart around him. His spirits waxing, soul dimming, head overcrowded with misery and grief. 

It makes a whole lotta sense that he would have just forgotten about that one teeny scratch. By the time he got back to the motel room, Gabriel was doing karaoke and dancing around the living room and all Dean had wanted to do was sleep. Which is all he wants to do right now but oh yeah, that just flew out the window along with living for another twenty four hours. 

Who is he kidding though? Even if he had remembered the next morning he never would have told Gabriel. Why bother? He would have just shoved it off and focused on shoving as much candy and alcohol as he could into his mouth all at one time. 

Still, seeing Gabriel’s humongous and extremely concerned eyes latch onto his own frightened and confused ones makes this all so much harder. Makes him feel guilty and stupid and really _really_ sorry. 

“Gabe, I…”

“It’s gonna be fine, Dean. Don’t worry about anything, kay? I’ll take care of it.”

His voice is clipped, meant to sound impatient, annoyed, angry, but the human knows his emotions are nowhere near any of those three points. Dean’s too terrified to even nod, let alone say that he’s sorry they didn’t have more time. Everything he is just focuses on Gabriel’s soothing voice that follows soon after, the one that fights to hold panic back that still seeps through. 

“I’ll take care of it," he repeats. 

The human starts to say something before the pain hits him full force and amber gives way to ever-deepening black. 

 

There’s incessant beeping and loud, penetrating footsteps and people shouting, not to mention he’s being jostled and in his condition that could only ever hurt. Dean thinks he hears Sam’s voice among the fray, though he could just be imagining it. One thing he most certainly doesn’t imagine is opening his amazingly heavy eyes to Gabriel, who looks like he’s running to keep up with him, to just stay in his line of vision. 

To be the one thing that Dean sees that doesn’t make him panic about being in his least favorite place in the world. 

He’s in a hospital. That’s where all that noise is coming from. 

Gabriel has been the only thing right there the past few weeks. The one person he would always expect to come back to the motel to, the one that he could count on to just talk if he really couldn’t take silence and sit on the couch if he really didn’t want to be alone. This is what keeps Dean living, the certainty, the knowing that it would be so freaking weird and unnatural if Gabriel wasn’t here right now. 

Take that away from him and he has nothing. Gabriel knows this, Gabriel stays with him because of this. And this is what Dean tells himself because what other explanation would there be for him to be here right now? 

The poker face gone and weariness overcrowding his features. The eyes unblinking, never looking away. 

Gabriel takes his hand momentarily and squeezes it, with a certain gentleness that he thought only Sammy could conjure up before the nurses surrounding him wheel him further and further away. Away from an archangel who might actually care about him, not just his car, after all. Away from his brother and Bobby, their faces clearly distressed and worried even at this far off distance. 

Away from ever knowing if he’ll see the three of them again. 

 

If his waking moments aren’t filled with enough of the archangel to last for several lifetimes, his lucid dreams are only filled with him too. What’s worse is that sometimes he doesn’t know if they’re dreams or not. 

Especially the moments where Gabriel starts to get really really romantic. 

_Gabriel straddles Dean, long straight brunette hair flowing down his (her) back, cascading like a gorgeous waterfall around his shoulders. Dean recognizes the inspiration and shivers despite how good Gabriel feels on top of him, so natural and sexy and completely focused on him. Even while in the crowded environment of his baby, all of this screams everything Dean wants._

_“You look like Ruby.”_

_His grin turns to a slight frown._

_“Well, that wasn't what I was going for, Deano.”_

_He still licks his lips hungrily despite the resemblance though. Continues to look up at Gabriel, knowing that it’s him in there even though his voice matches Ruby’s and his appearance is flawless. Because he knows that this is all Gabriel, it doesn’t put him off. If anything, he only wants the archangel more._

_“It's okay, Gabe. I still love you.”_

_The archangel doesn't say it back, but Dean can feel it with all the kisses that pepper his cheeks and leave his mouth aching, breathless and begging for more soon after. Even when Gabriel switches back in a millisecond to his usual vessel he doesn’t feel the loss, realizes even more how much he doesn’t care what Gabriel looks like because Gabriel is Gabriel and Gabriel is…_

_Beautiful. Just beautiful._

This is so so so so wrong. 

_“Gabe, you know I don’t like surprises.”_

_“Shut up, Deano. You’re ruining all the fun.”_

_Dean laughs, attempts to finger the blindfold that lies across his eyes but Gabriel restrains his hands. Dean can nearly see the grin that absolutely has to break through on his face now despite his irritation at Dean’s dislike of the situation._

_Then again, he knows that Gabe knows how much he loves to complain and how he really does love surprises after all._

_“Almost there”, Gabriel whispers in his ear and Dean smiles a little nervously though excitedly, bites down on his lip hard because he wants Gabriel badly, right here, right now, right this very fucking second. But Gabriel is serious about this little surprise, and it shows in the way that he guides him certainly and never lets him go for a second._

_Dean closes his eyes when his archangel slips the blindfold off._

_“You can open your eyes now, Dean.”_

_He opens his eyes just in time to see Gabriel get down on his knees, amber eyes shimmering up at him with barely controlled glee as he slips the small black velvet box open. The human doesn’t need to look to know what’s inside. “Dean Winchester, I love you with all my heart and all my soul, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?”_

_The human glances around at the candlelit table and bouquets of roses that surround the balcony, mesmerized and letting happiness flood throughout his entire being._

_Dean says yes and after Gabriel slips the ring on, Dean refuses to let go of him for the rest of the night._

Then again, this is so so so so so perfect. 

_“Dean, come back to me. I need you.”_

_“What are you talking about? I’m right here.”_

_“No, you’re not. You need to wake up, Dean. Please. I need to tell you something.”_

_“Tell me what?”_

_“Just wake up!”_

 

Sam’s collapsed in the chair, fast asleep by the time he finally decides to drift up towards consciousness and the miserable reality of pain and confusion and longing for something that he doesn’t know.

Gabriel _literally_ floats into his line of vision. That’s how dizzy and disoriented he still is. Dean clears his throat and is a bit startled by how white his surroundings around until Gabriel grounds him with his burning amber eyes and chestnut hair, even though his face is pale and drawn and eyes marred by the dark circles under them.

Dean really wakes up then. 

“Are you okay? What’s wrong?”

Gabriel asks, shocked, “Am I okay?” You almost died, Dean. And you ask if I’m okay?”

“So I’m not dead then?”

Gabriel laughs a little nervously, though still happily, “No, Dean. You’re not dead. Sam and Bobby figured out four hours in that it was unicorn blood you needed. Another hour and we wouldn’t be talking right now.”

Dean sinks back into the pillows now that it’s been confirmed everyone and everything is going to be alright, “Thanks.”

The archangel pushes Sam, still in the chair, aside and pulls up the other chair before settling down in it, inches away from Dean. “For what?”

“For being there, when I woke up.” _I was scared, so fucking scared and you showed me a reason not to be._

He looks awestruck for a minute, as if he can’t believe that Dean remembered that before shaking his head and transfixing his entire attention upon the human. “You don’t have to thank me, Dean.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll always be there.”

Dean craves to cry in relief at that until Gabriel’s next words hit him like a sledgehammer because he desperately doesn’t want him to go. Not now, not since he’s said those last few words that will cause Dean to never worry about anything again. “I should go.”

He thinks about protesting but true enough, the moment that Gabriel walks away is the second Sam starts to awaken. And when his big puppy dog eyes start to realize that his big brother is awake, well, Dean figures all is as it should be at this one particular moment. 

“Hey," he yawns, stares quizzically at the distance between him and the bed and drags his chair closer, smiling, “how ya feeling?”

He thinks about that for a moment. “Better.”

“You're not bending the truth a little, right?” Sam, the one person who knows him all too well and always will. 

“Nah," he’s actually feeling pretty great. “Think Gabriel must have mojoed me or something.”

Sam looks at him closely for several minutes. Dean guesses he senses there’s something else on his mind. They’re brothers after all. 

“He's turning human.”

His forehead crinkles up into confusion in that familiar way that Dean is so used to and loves to see. He wishes Sam would just come back already and accept that Gabriel is long past finding out ways to kill them. “Who?”

“Gabriel.”

Sam stares at the door silently. “What are you thinking about?"

“I just...” He turns back, “Don't get why he stayed with you.”

Dean turns away, hiding his pain as best he can, “Sure, Sam. Put me down why don't you? After all, you left. So who the hell would wanna stick around me?”

And then Sam’s big guilty puppy dog eyes come out once more and make Dean want to cry all over again. Must be the meds. “I didn't mean it like that, Dean.” He leans nearer to the bed so Dean can't back away, “Look, he's not supposed to care about us alright? It's not natural.”

“Don't you think I know that, bitch?”

“Jerk.”

There's a long pause. 

“Be careful, bro. That's all I'm saying.” His voice is sincere but Dean doesn’t care, he trusts Gabriel too much for that now. 

“Yeah well, you be careful too. Otherwise Gabriel will smite your ass.”

Sam smiles a little, “I thought he wasn't going to be able to do that anymore?”

“Don't underestimate the trickster himself, Sam.”

 

Dean’s flicking through the horrible channels of daytime TV when Gabriel decides to join him, makes him scoot over to the far end of his small bed while he grabs the remote and flips to some home makeover show, munching on chocolate covered pretzels. 

“Sam's pissed at me.” 

Dean rolls his eyes and steals the remote back, “No surprise there.” 

“He claims it's my fault you're here.” 

The human changes the channel, really doesn’t want to hear time after time again how much his brother doesn’t like Gabriel, “It isn't.” 

“It is, Dean.”

Gabriel reaches over and presses the off button, “You told me I could go with you and I should have. I heard it in your voice and I should’ve listened to you.”

“It was an offer not a demand, Gabriel.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

And now he really wants a drink, but Gabriel doesn't let him drink whiskey anymore, no matter how much he begs for it or chocolate or pie. No, it's merely water and salads that Sam scrounges up and sometimes makes himself. It's hard to swallow sometimes anyway, so it's not that big of a loss, what with his throat still sore as hell and burning off and on from the tube that was shoved down inside it for too long. Sam doesn't get it, Gabriel does though and he's gentle and understanding without having to say a word. 

Dean hates to admit it, but he'd be lost without him. So lost if he didn’t keep him company on the short moments that Sam’s out to get some fresh air or coffee. 

“Just because I'm doing something, Dean. Doesn't give reason for you to be a copycat.” But he kisses his forehead gently anyway and strokes back his hair. Dean only watches him in contented silence, too comfortable and strangely happy enough to find no reason to protest.

He’s been conscious four days in the hospital and he already wants out. It’s not an option though, what with Gabriel fussing over him and the nurses repeatedly saying ‘just a few more days, hun’. He wouldn’t trade this for anything though. 

It's the most loved he's felt in a long time.

 

Gabriel snaps a picture of him as soon as they’re out of the hospital and sitting comfortably in the vacant park, their forms parked on the hood of Dean’s car, coats bundled against them from the cold wind that whips right through them. The archangel doesn’t pay much mind to the weather though, it’s Dean whose face starts to go numb after ten minutes of exposure. 

“What was that for?”

The archangel blows a bubble with the gum from his Blow Pop and pops it, takes the picture out from the slot it just slipped out of and waits patiently for the image to clear. Dean can’t help but think that he hasn’t seen one of those cameras in ages. It sort of brings back memories, when Dad bought Sam one for his twelfth birthday and he literally couldn’t let go of the thing, took it with him everywhere and snapped a picture of Dean and Dad at every possible moment. He hated the thing back then, because of its overuse, but now it reminds him of his brother and home. Now he can hear Sam’s faint laughing in the background as if he were right here with the both of them. 

Reality is Gabriel’s small shrug as he glances down at the picture, sticks it inside his coat pocket for safe keeping or some other reason. “You told me to take a picture.”

Dean looks away, it’s too soon to ask the question. 

Even though all Gabriel does is scoot closer and pretend not to offer more warmth.

“You wanna go get some ice cream?”

Dean looks at him for a few minutes, trying to break through his poker face even though he can tell it’s barely on and he’s just too tired to try to read anything. He thought Gabriel would have left by now, why hadn’t he? 

“Yeah," he smiles, “sure.”

That’s what he wonders, what he was afraid to ask him before. If Gabriel actually pretends not to like him. Fakes it because there’s no viable reason to admit the truth. 

Pressing that further… if Gabriel is hooked on him. 

And even more… if he’s hooked on Gabriel. 

 

Dean opens the cabinets, rummaging through them as he only begins his search to find a bottle of something, anything. He isn’t supposed to be drinking but he needs it now, with all these nagging questions he has for the archangel filling him up inside and leaving him confused and _wanting._

It doesn’t take long before Gabriel saunters into the room, “I'm giving it up, Deano.”

He looks up, “What? Why?”

“Cause," Gabriel grins as he shuts the cabinet Dean just recently opened. “I'm hooked on something far more addictive and delicious.”

It’s a push he needs, the push to move forward and do something he’s rarely done before. After all these weeks, Gabriel being such a permanent and strange figure of normalcy, then later on a beacon of light and comfort and concern that Dean is drawn to like a moth is drawn to the flame. 

“You’re losing your mojo aren’t you?”

Gabriel freezes, eyes vacant yet remembering before nodding sadly, tiredly, as if he’s given up all hope. He doesn’t get to do that though, not on Dean’s watch. Not when Dean needs him as much as Gabriel apparently does now. As much as Gabriel has needed him all along. 

He stands up, wanting to keep Gabriel in the here and now, not far away from him like he’s been the past few weeks. “It’s not like you’re nothing without it, Gabriel. You’re still you. That won’t change.”

The archangel looks up at Dean, waits for something more and Dean takes that as permission to go on because he just can’t hold it all inside anymore. All the questions and confessions and feelings bundled up into one huge ball of agony and longing. He’ll take the risk of Gabriel rejecting him, he’ll take it all if it means that Gabriel finally _knows._

“I love you, Gabe. I realize that now, and if you don’t feel the same I guess that’s okay.”

Gabriel’s reality comes flooding back to him and he smiles, walks forward and crashes into him, arms going tightly around him as he kisses Dean hungrily. Dean kisses back, reveling in the way Gabriel opens his mouth to allow his tongue passage to explore its candy coated depths. “I love you too, Deano.”

_I love you more._

_~Shine a light through an open door_  
Love a life I will divide  
Turn away cause I need you more  
Feel the heartbeat in my mind~ 

**FIN**


End file.
